The best advice I got for introducing the new baby

Hi everyone,

About a week before my son was born, I was at a birthday party with my 4 year old daughter and one of the other moms told me some advice for introducing the new baby.  I truly believe it has made all the difference in my daughter's adjustment to being a big sister to her baby brother and wanted to share it with you all.

The advice was that when my daughter came to the hospital to see us after I gave birth to make sure to *not* have the baby in my arms or my husband's arms.  When she came in, we were to just focus on her.

So when she walked in the door, our eyes lit up and we were excited to see.  She ran over to give me a big hug!  Then he made a little noise, she saw the bassinet across the room and went to go see.  She looked at him for a second, and then came back to me, with an uncertain look on her face.  She sat on the couch with her daddy so she could open the present the baby had gotten her (a photo album that said "I'm the big sister" on the front -- she also got him a present).  Then her grandfather picked the baby up and sat down by her.  After about 10 minutes, without us saying anything, she started looking at the baby and soon she wanted to hold him.  Since then, it's been really great!  She adores her little brother!

We did the same thing each night when she came to visit us at the hospital.  Also, later, whenever someone came over to see the new baby, we made sure they did the same.  Even when Grandma came from Iowa to visit.  She had to ignore the baby until my daughter got a hug, and then it was only about 30 seconds before she said, "Grandma, come see my baby brother!"  Then Grandma was "allowed" to hold the baby and she was still happy.

The only jealousy we've had was one night when my mom came over during the first week we were home.  My daughter was in the other room when Nana walked in the door.  I handed her the baby, so when my daughter came in, Nana was already holding him.  She got upset, went into her room, and wouldn't come out.  So finally my mom went to her.  That gave us an idea of how it *could* have been if we hadn't gotten the good advice.  

Cindy 

Thank you for the advice, we will definitely try that. My daughter is 15 months and I was worried because its usually me and her and she's a momma girl. DH never got up to help with my 1st daughter so he may HAVE to with this one of they are both in need at the same time. LOL

Thank you...I am very concerned about how my daughter will adjust to another baby in the house-since she'll only be 16 months.  I'm always open of suggestions from the ladies here and other mommy wisdom (not real into unsol. advise from "strangers").

Thanks Cindy!   Hannah will be almost two when her new sibling is born.   I'm sure I will have lot's more questions for you as I get closer to my due date.
Amy

Thank God, SO's youngest is 10.

We had a hard time when we told her I was pregnant - she was not happy at all. She's very much Daddy's pride and joy and KNOWS it. She knows she has him wrapped and doesn't let anyone forget it. The first few months were really rough - she didn't really want much to do with it all.

HOWEVER, when we found out that I was having a boy - she was ALLL about being the big sister. Its obvious she was worried that if I had a girl - she would no longer be Daddy's Little Girl. Now that she will still be Daddy's Little Girl - and Daddy will just have a Little Man now - she's completely fine. She's a huge help when it comes to helping me with things. She was even a "hostess" at my baby shower and helped my mother with the decorations, cupcake frosting, etc. My mother even made her a sash to wear at the baby shower that said "Big Sister" on it - so that she really felt a part of the day. Now she hounds us every time we get her for the weekend that we can't forget to have someone come get her when the baby is born.

But incase I get lucky and get to have another little one someday (highly unlikely since SO is going to get clipped) - this will come in handy.

Shauna,

Although I had wanted a girl so my daughter could have a sister (we didn't find out in advance), I'm now thrilled that he's a boy!  Just like you said, she'll always be our GIRL!  :)

Cindy 

We did the same thing for the boys (maybe I told you about it?  lol)  Kaden ran into the room, barely hugging me, looking for his brother.  (It had been 3 days since I'd seen him!)   I had the nurse bring Bryson in a few minutes later and Kaden got the honor to be the first to hold him before Amma and Papa even, (who brought him.)  The boys exchanged gifts, Kaden had picked a few things out with Amma including a bib that said I love my big brother...and Kaden got some really cool remote control cars that were a big hit.  We all sang Happy Birthday to Bryson, which was also kind of neat...lol
-Donna

 

Donna,

Ooh, I *like* the idea of singing "Happy Birthday" to the baby!  That would have been really cool!  What a great idea!

Cindy 

Good advice! Sounds like a plan for us with Emma. Thanks for sharing. Shari

Totally awesome advice....thank you......I hope I get the opp to use it :)

How you feeling and we need some new pics :)